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Men and Menstrual periods

I read this story online of this teenage boy whose girl classmate soiled her uniform and she did not know. The boy walked up to her and gave her his sweater telling her, “wrap this around your waist.” The girl was so embarrassed but the boy told her, “don’t worry, these things happen, I have sisters.” And he rode with her all the way.

Now that there is a well raised young man! Most people in my age and above were raised in a way we’ve grown embarrassed of this natural phenomenal. We could never talk about it openly. Some religion even considers a woman unclean during her period.

I remember the first time I saw a pads advert- I was about 10- and I asked my dad what “Always ultra” is used for. My mum was probably in the kitchen or out and I was watching tv with dad so yeah, I shot the question to him. Guess what he told me? It’s used when someone has cut themselves. For a long time in my childhood I knew pads were some kind of nursing bandages, crazy right? Fast forward, we finally had the conversation about menstrual cycle when I was in class 7. Some speakers came to our school and gathered all class 7 and 8 girls in one hall for the talk. The boys of course were sent to the field. I remember after the talk we were all given a pack of pads and the hardest thing was leaving the hall carrying it. We struggled to hide them from the boys as it would be embarrassing. We hid them under our sweaters and quickly put them in our bags away from the boys sight.

There is this one time a friend of mine dropped a pad in church and she was so embarrassed to even pick it she walked right out as though it wasn’t hers. The usher who saw it is the one who picked it up for her. When we talked later, she told me how embarrassed she was.

We have been raised to think and feel embarrassed about our periods. When we have cramps, we say it’s a stomach ache or come up with a lame medical excuse. We would never say it loud and especially to men that we are on our periods. Note, it is not that they do not know these things, only that we were taught it’s uncouth to talk about it with them. They are not to know, in fact when they are talking they say,"ile mambo ya waschana”. They will not touch a woman’s handbag lest they come across a pad.

This however is changing over time. The menstrual period talk has broken down the embarrassment wall and people can freely talk about it or at least pads. Boys now know about menstrual periods and girls no longer need to feel embarrassed about it. Men can freely buy pads for their sisters/partners without feeling embarrassed while queuing at the counter. A woman can remove a pad from her bag and not feel shy if a man sees it.

The other day a video was trending online of some crooks repackaging unknown pads into a popular brand packaging. What caught my attention is, of all my friends who shared it, most were men and they raised concerns about it. I am happy when I see such things. It means times are getting better and we are growing out of these traditional norms that drew boldly the lines that separate men and women. It means we are in this together. It means we fight for each other and care for each other at all levels regardless of gender.

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