Her Thoughts

In many cultures and religions, virginity is a prime topic. Some even put a price to it. In most cases, when we talk virginity, we have women in mind even when we know it cuts both sides. But then i guess its because it is women who have something to show for it. Most of us were raised to believe the sanctity of virginity. How to reserve it till marriage or at least loose it to not just anyone. In fact, every ex-virgin has a tale of how they lost it and to who; a story they hold closely. Our society today however has a different look on this matter. Whilst years back, the dowry negotiation or marriage of a virgin were held with some level of sacred to it, people of today put little value to this. If anything, one will be ashamed to say they are a virgin. People will not understand when you say,"I am waiting till marriage." "Virginity is not a guarantee of a happy marriage you know?" "People have waited till marriage only to be disappointed." "...

For most women, it is easier to hear others call them feminists than them openly saying they are feminists. For a long time feminism has been associated with the wrong things; so much that when one is called a feminist, it is meant to mean they are bad people or they hate men. Today I write to remind ourselves of this noble movement. Today I write to tell my fellow feminists not to relent in this fight. To tell them not to be intimidated by those who oppose this cause. It is not a sin to be a feminist. We should not buy the fear and intimidation that the opposers keep hawking. They that think that feminists are a group of angry women who hate men. They forget or rather, are ignorant of what feminism is about. We even have men who are feminists too, but these agents of intimidation will ignore this.  When they call us angry women, tell me, who was happy when fighting? Who smiles when their rights are infringed? Tell me who is glad when their opinions are ignored and their voices...

Who should pay the bill on when a couple goes out? Who should call first after you exchange numbers? Some people will say, the guy should. But I say it’s 2019, any one of them could. Any one of them well able to, should. Women no longer go out on dates and expect the guy to automatically pay the bill and our Uber. Unless the guy offer to do that, women carry our own money. That way no one see’s the other as inferior or feels entitled because they paid the bill. It takes two to tangle. If a couple is going to make it, they need to stand together and do what each can do. It should not be expected who pays rent and who pays the other bills. I think anyone well able to should foot the bills, man or woman. If a guy is unemployed and the lady is the bread winner, no them should feel superior or inferior. We are used to the man being the bread winner but we have seen this is not always the case. It is this kind of thinking that has seen many men fall into depression when the lost their ...

I am glad to see the changes that our society is slowly adopting to and the things we keep unlearning. Most of us have been raised in a place where the society has always had an opinion over women even before she speaks or we get to know her. Girls grow up knowing “their lane”. For a long time we have had certain jobs set out for women. But am glad times are changing now; anyone can thrive anywhere. She is raised to “fit” in her place. If a marriage breaks and a woman has had enough and decides to leave, the society is quick to call her impatient. If the man remarries, no one remembers the first wife; no one judges him when he does. In fact, some say, “a man cannot stay like that.” But if the woman remarries, she is quickly judged and efforts to shame her are relentless. When a boss lady shouts at an employee, she is termed too emotional. They go on to say, “no wonder women bosses are the worst.” But if a man shouts, he is only being a man, authoritative. As though one can read emo...

I read this story online of this teenage boy whose girl classmate soiled her uniform and she did not know. The boy walked up to her and gave her his sweater telling her, “wrap this around your waist.” The girl was so embarrassed but the boy told her, “don’t worry, these things happen, I have sisters.” And he rode with her all the way. Now that there is a well raised young man! Most people in my age and above were raised in a way we’ve grown embarrassed of this natural phenomenal. We could never talk about it openly. Some religion even considers a woman unclean during her period. I remember the first time I saw a pads advert- I was about 10- and I asked my dad what “Always ultra” is used for. My mum was probably in the kitchen or out and I was watching tv with dad so yeah, I shot the question to him. Guess what he told me? It’s used when someone has cut themselves. For a long time in my childhood I knew pads were some kind of nursing bandages, crazy right? Fast forward, we finally h...

More often than not, conversations about equality start off as just that-conversations- but speedily escalate to debates. I would know, I have been in many of those. Those against the equality agenda turn the debate into an English lesion trying to argue out what equality and equity really means and how equity is what we should seek instead of equality. Whilst there may be point to their opinion, it is the way they fight equality that makes void their whole point.  According to many, equality is the enemy. Well then, let’s get into some English lesson then and let us understand better what these two words really mean: Equity - Justice, impartiality or fairness. Equality -The equal treatment of people irrespective of social or cultural differences.  - The fact of being equal, of having the same value. After that brief English lesson up there, we can all agree, both equity and equality are noble pursuits that all humans should be involved in. They that advocate for e...