Her Thoughts

Who should pay the bill on when a couple goes out? Who should call first after you exchange numbers? Some people will say, the guy should. But I say it’s 2019, any one of them could. Any one of them well able to, should. Women no longer go out on dates and expect the guy to automatically pay the bill and our Uber. Unless the guy offer to do that, women carry our own money. That way no one see’s the other as inferior or feels entitled because they paid the bill. It takes two to tangle. If a couple is going to make it, they need to stand together and do what each can do. It should not be expected who pays rent and who pays the other bills. I think anyone well able to should foot the bills, man or woman. If a guy is unemployed and the lady is the bread winner, no them should feel superior or inferior. We are used to the man being the bread winner but we have seen this is not always the case. It is this kind of thinking that has seen many men fall into depression when the lost their ...

I am glad to see the changes that our society is slowly adopting to and the things we keep unlearning. Most of us have been raised in a place where the society has always had an opinion over women even before she speaks or we get to know her. Girls grow up knowing “their lane”. For a long time we have had certain jobs set out for women. But am glad times are changing now; anyone can thrive anywhere. She is raised to “fit” in her place. If a marriage breaks and a woman has had enough and decides to leave, the society is quick to call her impatient. If the man remarries, no one remembers the first wife; no one judges him when he does. In fact, some say, “a man cannot stay like that.” But if the woman remarries, she is quickly judged and efforts to shame her are relentless. When a boss lady shouts at an employee, she is termed too emotional. They go on to say, “no wonder women bosses are the worst.” But if a man shouts, he is only being a man, authoritative. As though one can read emo...

I read this story online of this teenage boy whose girl classmate soiled her uniform and she did not know. The boy walked up to her and gave her his sweater telling her, “wrap this around your waist.” The girl was so embarrassed but the boy told her, “don’t worry, these things happen, I have sisters.” And he rode with her all the way. Now that there is a well raised young man! Most people in my age and above were raised in a way we’ve grown embarrassed of this natural phenomenal. We could never talk about it openly. Some religion even considers a woman unclean during her period. I remember the first time I saw a pads advert- I was about 10- and I asked my dad what “Always ultra” is used for. My mum was probably in the kitchen or out and I was watching tv with dad so yeah, I shot the question to him. Guess what he told me? It’s used when someone has cut themselves. For a long time in my childhood I knew pads were some kind of nursing bandages, crazy right? Fast forward, we finally h...

More often than not, conversations about equality start off as just that-conversations- but speedily escalate to debates. I would know, I have been in many of those. Those against the equality agenda turn the debate into an English lesion trying to argue out what equality and equity really means and how equity is what we should seek instead of equality. Whilst there may be point to their opinion, it is the way they fight equality that makes void their whole point.  According to many, equality is the enemy. Well then, let’s get into some English lesson then and let us understand better what these two words really mean: Equity - Justice, impartiality or fairness. Equality -The equal treatment of people irrespective of social or cultural differences.  - The fact of being equal, of having the same value. After that brief English lesson up there, we can all agree, both equity and equality are noble pursuits that all humans should be involved in. They that advocate for e...

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." -Romans 12:18. Paul in one of his letters recommends amicable ways of solving conflict among believers. But if peace is not reached and it comes that we must fight, if this be our only resort, then let the fight be fair and let rules apply equally. That aside, the law of the land also provides for ways to resolve or follow in cases of conflict. Companies and every other institution have conflict resolution procedures as well.These resolution methods have been in place for years, they’ve been refined and reconstituted to fit particular times and institutions. One thing however, there have been cases where women have gotten hurt even when these methods were to help/protect them. We have seen cases where the victim being a woman ended up more hurt than she was by the actual event that led to the conflict. We have seen cases of sexual harassment at work places leave women jobless even after winning...

Over the years, the good, the bad and the beautiful have been associated with women. A beautiful car is likely to be given a woman’s name. Hurricanes that destroy things are often named after women. People in their good times tend to name things after women too. Over the years, we have also seen weakness being associated with women. We have seen people insult others using a woman in their insult, this is wrong. You will hear someone say, “you punch like a girl”, to mean your punch is weak. Some will also say, “Come and face me like a man” to mean with boldness. It insinuates men have a “better/bolder” way of dealing with issues. All the above insinuate that women are weaker than men. One would be right to say such language has been detrimental to the feminism agenda of fighting for equality. Such language only appeals to patriarchy. In my country-Kenya- we have seen this language being used over and over by public figures. They use women to “spice up” their insults. You will he...

Am at my local movie shop getting something to watch then this guy,a friend of my movie guy comes and starts talking. At first he is complaining how his landlord cannot wait till 10th for rent.He owns a business right across the movie shop and can see the landlady near his shop and he seems to know what she is there for. At this point am just going through the movie list as I wait for my flash disk to be updated. Then the conversation takes a turn. The guy tells my movie guy, " Kevo usiwai oa! Ningejua singeoa aki. Ona kama sasa nimeanza kupata ‘kihara’ na vile mimi ni mchanga ". (Kevo, never marry! If i knew i would not have married. I have started getting bald now yet am a young man). I try hard not to burst into laughter but my movie guy is up in stitches and he makes me laugh out loud as well. Kevo asks him, " Kwani ni nini boss?"  (What's up man?). The guy goes on to say, the wife told him a few days ago that she is pregnant. At this point I have the ...